Remember when you wore diapers?

My Mom was 19 years old when this photo of her and Dad was taken holding my oldest brother, Jimmy. I wasn’t born yet.

Do you think she was properly trained for the heavy responsibilities that lay ahead? She wasn't. She didn't even know that she would charter five more kids and run those projects synchronously. Yet she is content and confident in this pic. You can see it in her eyes. Even the chubby baby knows he’s safe. There’s no fear or anxiety about the future. There is only promise ahead. She’s got the leader look down cold because she also adds that intangible aura of genuine concern for the chubby baby. Do you see it? It’s not about her taking a pretty picture. It’s about her family.

Now let’s compare pics. Sam Palmisano wears the mantle of a leader by virtue of his amazing technicolor title: Chairman, President and Chief Executive Officer. I’m not making that up. He’s an amalgam of three top dogs in one! A Chairman, el Presidente, and a c-class executive. The combined titles scream, “This is a LEADER!”



Carefully examine his face in this photo. He’s got the funky “smile for the camera” unnatural pose. Does he look confident? Does he welcome the future and the unexpected twists that it will bring? Does he make you feel safe and cared for? of course, I could just as easily pick on myself. My picture says, "I did something really bad today and I'm waiting to get caught." But this rant isn't about pictures at all. It's about people who care for each other. Leaders care. And Leaders are cared for.

The essence of a leader
I’m biased, but I contend that my Mom sets the highest bar for leadership in the technology industry because she somehow convinced me that today is going to be a good day. So is tomorrow. She told me that I was ready for the future and that I would be successful. Most important, she let me know that there is always someone in this world interested in me and not just my project.

To all of the battle hardened executives in this company who think that I’m talking about soft skill mushy nonsense here, I challenge you to pull out the photo with you in diapers cradled in your Mom’s arms. Did you ever feel more comfortable about the future than you did then?

Mothers Make Natural Project Managers: Part 3

My Mom took the grandkids to Brice Canyon, Utah last week. The kids were scared to take the trail ride; they had never ridden a horse before. My Mom told them that if they’d do it, she’d do it. I've heard her say those words to me many times. Once she challenged me to a straight up 400 m race around my high school track to help me prepare for the Latin Forum. Stop laughing, I almost died.

Her challenge this week at Brice had everybody, including a 71 year old grandma, on the dusty trail in five minutes. She forced them to capture a life moment that was dangerously close to evaporating. I don’t know who was more excited, the kids or Mom, when she called me last night to tell me about her first horse ride.

Mom’s still challenging us to take risks. Or maybe she’s simply challenging herself. In either case, Leaders are willing to jump in and live life with you.

Mothers Make Natural Project Managers: Part 2

I called Mom some years ago when I felt an urge to leave my IBM cocoon and told her that Cisco, a company down the road, offered me a job (when they were just starting up). I could continue to work on a big blue crappy 6611 router or jump ship and work for high flying Cisco. The call went like this:

Me: “Mom, this cool fast growing company called Cisco offered me a great job with stock options. Should I take it?”
Mom: “What does Cisco do?”
Me: “They make routers.”
Mom: “You should take the job. You’ve always been good with wood.”

It really wouldn’t matter what Cisco did. If they had made shortening, my Mom would have said, “You’ve always enjoyed good food.”

Mothers are exceptional leaders because they want you feel good about the decisions you make. They also tell you that you can do anything. And believe it.